Sometimes you just have to cry
Even when you're not sure why...
I heard a quote a long time ago about tears being a language that allows you to express what words cannot. I've felt this more along the lines of actually not knowing how to express myself or understanding why I felt the way I did—and it was tears that gave me the outlet instead of bottling it up.
Many times as a child I would cry in response to fear, worry, tiredness, jealousy...you name it...I cried a lot.
And when my tears were met with frustration-
“Why are you always crying?!”
And this hopeless look like they just didn't know what to do with me.
I literally could not communicate how I felt or why.
As an adult you learn how to hide things better or carry pain longer but for most kids it will come out in some way or another and mine came through the water works- literally no control over it...
Even now my eyes water instantly when I get embarrassed or have to confront something that makes me feel uncomfortable. And up until recently I felt so disgusted with this part of me- hating my roller coaster of emotions, not wanting to let them out or I might scare those I love most away.
If you have kids that tend to burst into tears or express themselves in another way beyond words, seek to understand. It's so easy to feel frustrated.
“Stop crying! Stop winning!”
But this is just the fruit of something deeper going on that they do not have words for- or that they may not even understand themselves.
Responding in frustration and anger is a huge threat to open communication and your child's ability to trust that they are safe to express themselves. When kids feel fear because of a parent’s response, it completely shuts down their ability to think logically.
Be aware of triggers- situations that happen that cause a dramatic response. Ask questions “What are you feeling? Why are you crying? Why did that make you so upset?”
Once I was able to look at and identify the lie that ‘my emotions are out of control, too much for myself and other to handle,’ God revealed his truth and His truth has set me free!