I’ve been in a somewhat painful process with God the last few weeks as I have come to Him with unanswered questions. When I was faced with a problem I didn’t have the answer to, I spent a day seeking and wrestling with it. After that I reached out to close friends for prayer and input and still the journey persisted. I have experienced this questioning phase many times and have found that God rarely answers me in the moment I am asking. I have many times had to hold tight to the promise that when we seek we WILL find (Jer 29:13, Mathew 7:7). I frequently remind myself and my kids that it is not wrong to ask questions, God is not afraid of questions, but what we need to do is turn towards our loving, good God in the questioning and not away from Him. A lot of times people get hurt, confused, and doubt but they turn away from the Father in search of the answer when He has it right there for them to encounter.
Well, weeks ago one of my best friends, Tiffy, was telling me about a little girl named Eva who had a traumatic brain injury and went from joking, dancing, and living life to being unable to move her body or respond to anyone. I know very little of the details but you can follow her story on insta and pray for her family @dugansherbondy. Tiffy was telling me about her because she wants everyone she knows to stand in prayer with this family. I believe they have someone praying for this little girl in every state!
Well this devastated me! I did decide to follow the family but couldn’t look at any pictures. Anyways we will get back to this…
One of the things I get the privilege of doing is walking people through inner healing. Simply put, this looks like processing trauma and bringing Perfect Love and Perfect Peace to that area of trauma. God moves in such unique and incredible ways and reveals such beautiful and healing components of each person’s identity!
On the latest part of my journey, I became painfully aware of some evils in this world. I mean, I’m sure anyone could think up the worst possible things that could happen to a person, but to know the person and hear about it is a different story. And hearing of such trauma was like an electric shock to my brain and it would jump back to my mind frequently throughout the day. I had no idea what to do or how to get rid of it. Although it was not something that had ever happened to me, it would replay in my mind. I began to understand why people who council others or who have also heard traumatic stories, respond in such a jumpy, fearful way to things that (to a person who hasn’t heard the stories) seem inconsequential.
So I started seeking…
And seeking…
Still nothing…
Last night I was driving the car in one of our first heavy rains of the season and I began to feel panicked. What if I got in an accident?! It only takes one wrong move…one moment to change life as we know it forever. I specifically began to worry about Tristan (my 11-year-old) and about how much I love who he is and the way he interacts, connects, plays… what if he were to experience a TBI like Eva! What if I never got to hear him talk or laugh again? What if I never got to feel him hugging me again?? You guys! I was freaking out and feeling the fear of all this consuming me! The only thing that got me out of it was the fact that crying was making it even harder to drive so I had to change the subject!!!
Tonight….finally the answer has found me! I am so relieved and feel so passionate that I had to write all this out even though I should be packing for my family’s cross country move to Maine…
I was listening to a podcast by Bill Johnson about testimonies. He shared the testimony about a child who was crippled, being healed. My heart felt like it jumped for joy hearing about this child running for the first time!
https://www.bethel.tv/en/podcasts/sermons/episodes/436
The power of the spoken TESTIMONY is my key for this season of my life! And I am singing again and again a new song that “what He has done before, He’ll do again AND GREATER things!” Testimony stirs up faith and keeps our eyes on the Way Maker, Miracle Worker, Promise Keeper, Light in the Darkness! Not that I forget about the people who are suffering but I PRAY not from a place of fear but of faith!! God does not change- the God who parted the Red Sea, raised a man from the dead, opened blind eyes- is inside of me. And when I hear about what He is doing right now- I feel so excited and I know I can believe for miracles for my friends, my family, instagram stories, and myself.
Share your testimony, remember what God has done in your life and in the lives of those around you and celebrate it!! Don’t just gulf clap when you hear about a teenager giving their heart to Jesus at a campus club! Celebrate!!
Seek out testimonies and stories of God moving in a way that you are contending for. Build your Faith, turn the affections of your hear towards Jesus! He is so good and so faithful!
Listen to that podcast :-)
“See the possibility in the problem- see the miracle waiting to happen.”
“Testimony’s prophesy the nature of God.”
“Raise your children with the report of His wonderful works…they would have a value system of the spoken, written record of all God has done that they may set their hope in God.”
“The testimony and the courage to obey are connected. It allows us to stay confident in the Lord.”
“The less we talk about miracles, the less we expect miracles, and the less we see miracles…the less we see, the less we talk, the less we expect…repeat…”